


Overwhelmed

by ARandomFactoid



Series: BrennanBreaksCanon [4]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Rannoch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-01
Updated: 2016-07-01
Packaged: 2018-07-19 09:04:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7354642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ARandomFactoid/pseuds/ARandomFactoid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard leads a battle that brings peace to Rannoch, and takes down a Reaper.  So why is he apologizing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Overwhelmed

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr, prompt fill from Choosyfruit

Kaidan and Tali wait for Shepard at the LZ, keeping their distance from the final discussion between the Commander and mortally wounded Reaper. When Shepard returns, he’s replaced his helmet, walking slow and shoulders slumped, which is unusual - but what about this day, with the return of the Quarians to Rannoch and the first proper Reaper killed in combat, has been ‘normal’?

It gets even weirder when Ben leaves the helmet on in the shuttle, slumping into Kaidan and picking at a dent in his armor as they lift off to rendezvous with the Normandy. Just as they break atmo, Ben takes Kaidan’s helmet, fiddles with the coms, and hands it back to Kaidan, giving a knock to his own helmet as he does so. Kaidan slips it on, and the HUD confirms that Ben has put them on a private link.

“I’m sorry.” Shepard apologizes without preamble. "I just…. wanted you to know that before we got back to the ship and, well, I’m just sorry.“

_Oh_

Kaidan sputters, not really knowing what to say. _Shepard’s sorry for ending a war and killing a Reaper, which no one has been able to do for at least fifty-thousand years?_ He shifts his weight to face Shepard, and Ben cringes at the movement, so Kaidan stops.

_What is this?_

Before he can do anything further, Cortez and EDI are finalizing rendezvous trajectories and Tali is already up and waiting for the doors of the shuttle to open. He pulls his helmet off and decided to give Ben time to decide whether or not to elaborate before asking any questions. They strip out of their armor in near silence, only Steve’s usual post-flight checks and Tali answering the occasional question from com’d in Quarian admirals that Kaidan can’t hear is the only conversation.

They skip the med-bay, Chakwas confirms via omni-tool that both of their suits registered no impacts or punctures that would indicate medical intervention, _thanks for small favors, universe_ , although she does suggest Shepard take a cold shower and and keep dose of the pain meds she’s prescribed for him be kept handy - several of the falls and tumbles he’s taken will be coming around for payback once the bruising and swelling kicks in. 

“ _Once_ it kicks in?” Ben quips, already rubbing his shoulder, but he doesn’t say anything further, and Kaidan doesn’t push. He doesn’t push when Ben slinks off to the shower without a word, just takes a seat at the desk, plinks away at a few reports. He doesn’t push when Ben skirts out of his reach before Kaidan even reacts to his re-entry afterwards, only nodding when Ben announces that the shower’s free.

The shower stall is freezing when Kaidan steps inside it - he must really be hurting to take Karin’s advice so soon. On his way out he grabs water and the bottle marked ‘Brennan Shepard 5923-AC-2826: take 2 as needed every 4-6 hours, not exceeding 12 pills per 24 hour period’ and carries it back into the cabin, where he finds Ben already asleep, sprawled on the bed.

He asks EDI for a wake-up in three hours, more would be nice but ship-time is hard enough to stick to when you’ve never quite outgrown your childhood day-night cycle, not to mention that they’re both also prone to post-mission crashing. Kaidan sets the water and meds down on Ben’s side and crawls in beside him, and lets the rest of the adrenaline jitters fade and exhaustion overtake him.

He wakes up to Shepard’s fingers on his jaw and shifts forward to plant a kiss on the inside of Ben’s palm, only opening his eyes when the hand is pulled away, quickly, as if Ben is actually surprised at the sign of affection. Ben is lying on his back, rubbing his shoulder again and looking at the ceiling. “Good Morning, or whatever time it is.” he greets Kaidan with forced lightness. “I’ve already told EDI we’re up. She says James is making eggs again.”

"Right. Everything good?” Kaidan asks. “Are you Ok?”

“Just sore.” Ben shrugs with a wince. "Shoulder’s dodgy.“ He looks up and over at Kaidan as Kaidan rises up onto one elbow. "Look, I can explain about Rannoch… the Reaper.”

“Explain? About what? I know what you did - you killed a Reaper.” Kaidan stops himself, clamping his mouth shut. If he was going to wait for Shepard to decide when to talk, he damned well better let Ben actually do the talking.

“It was a stunt. I pulled another stunt… like Desponia.” Ben answered softly. "It worked, but… if you had, shit - I’m sorry.“

"Right.” Kaidan answered slowly, considering what he would say next. True, he _had_ told Shepard that stunts like that scared the hell out of him - but he’d also said it was one of things he _loves_ about Ben. And the fear was over, they’d survived - sore but intact, their overall chances improved significantly for taking the risk….

_This isn’t about the war - this is about us._

The thought strikes Kaidan hard enough his train of thought derails and it’s just Ben in front of him, _worried, about us._ Ben opens his mouth to say something, but Kaidan doesn’t give him the chance - leaning over and stifling the words with his own lips. Ben whimpers under him and claws at Kaidan’s shoulders, pulling him in so that Kaidan is pulled forward, up and over Ben’s prone body, straddling his hips as the kiss grows desperate.

“I got shot at by a Reaper - again.” Ben says, short of breath when Kaidan pulls back to settle onto Ben’s hips.

“Repeatedly, this time.” Kaidan confirms as he leans back in for another round

“I stood there and let it.” Ben continued in between kisses.

“You dodged.” Kaidan counters, kissing a path across Ben’s cheekbone to nip at Ben’s ear. "And here we are, alive. It’s ok.“ he whispers finally. "We’re ok.”

“Really?” Ben asks, his hand coming to rest on the back of Kaidan’s head.

“As long as we keep ending back here, yeah - we’re ok.”


End file.
